My dad - The whole story

It's been a hard week. Its funny in some aspects. I came home from Florida feeling fantastic. It was the getaway I needed and I had a fantastic time. In fact, I was loading pictures form the trip to my computer when Jared called me.
"Your dad's been in a car accident."
"What?"
"Your Grandmother just called me, I am coming home to get you then Grandmother and we are going to Colorado. Get stuff for us and the kids ready."
"Ok" was all I could respond. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I had tried to call my dad yesterday around 2, but just got voicemail. I hadn't spoken to him since the trip, our last words probably something about have a good time. He had come home early to help Jared with the kids while I was gone, and mostly keep them company. My computer was still processing the download, so I grabbed Jaxon off the bed, where I was about to put him to sleep.
My mind reeled. The van. It was a mess. In everything all I could think about at that moment was the dirty car, and how ashamed it would make me feel to have my Grandmother in it. I needed a focus and I found one.
I asked Mr. Lambert across the way to watch Jaxon while I cleaned. I tried to think of who I needed to call. I tried Tiffany but she had left her phone at home while she dropped of Joesf at school. So I called Adam and let him know, telling him to have her call me immediately. I tried my mom. No answer, Jenny, and talked a while. She had talked to Grandmother already so she knew but not much more then me.
Jared called me. He had been able to talk to Dad and found out some "Information". You'll notice the quotations because Dad was fairly drugged up and the facts come later in the story. He was in a 3 car pile up, Happened yesterday around 2, and was life lighted to the hospital. My dad was angry at Jared when he told him we were coming, but Jared held his ground.
Jared also told me he had spoken to his mother and she was willing to watch the kids. A huge blessing, since the car ride itself was 4 hours and taking kids to a hospital is never fun.
So I packed the kids bag and semi readied myself. I hadn't even unpacked from Florida yet so I just took out some clothes to make room for Jared.

Fast forward to about 5 hours later. We are at Saint Mary's in Grand Junction. Grandmother insisted on bringing her own car and we head up to see him. I hadn't cried a single tear yet but did when I saw him. Neck brace, busted up face, stitches in 3 places I can see (3 total) a sling around one arm, plenty of iv's and he's sleeping peacefully. God. Again, I well up right now thinking of it.
"Hi honey," he says to me when he wakes to see us. "Hi dad," I say as I get closer to him, trying to keep my voice steady. He talks about the crash, how he can't remember, how He is supposed to be dead, that they brought him back to life, that they shouldn't have, that he was upside down for hours before they found him. I swallow back more tears, grateful that the worst is over. But none of that is the truth, not my Dad's story and not that the worst is over. It's only begun.
The real truth? It was around 2pm and Dad was driving from Dove's Creek back to his place in Grand Junction. Someone was behind him, when his car veered (probably on cruise control), past the barrier, barb wire fence, and up in the air over a ravine. They immediately called the police. He was life lighted, but the nurse said he was stable the whole time. The tow truck company however was told he was dead.
No one will ever know why for 100% sure what happened, but after a CAT scan and an MRI there is a good idea. The doctors think my dad had a seizure....caused by a malignant brain tumor that started bleeding. A brain tumor...cancerous....and I saw the MRI...I saw the size...its...its big. There are other parts which show maybe even signs of a stroke? I dont remember much I started fazing after that.
My Grammy...My real fathers mom, died from Brain Cancer in I want to say 2003 off the top of my head. That the only time I have heard of a person I know having it. My dad works out, doesn't smoke, eats healthy....why him????
The worst is the relationship with my dad. Some of you might know, it was hard in High School. He adopted my sisters and me, and we didn't see eye to eye. Part of me considers my high school years my hell years, not for school but home. When I finished High School I left and never came back, not ever fully.
Until Jared. When we became engaged, we sat down with my Dad, and Jared laid it down, that I was his family now, and why he had never seen or heard anything, he would protect me with his life from anything that hurt me. I also told him at that time I would be walking myself down the aisle. I had felt it was a privilege he had lost. I would accept no funds for the wedding either, I was doing it myself, he was welcome to come though, and he did.
Than something happened that changed everyone even more. My miracle Maxine. It's funny, because I was told I would have trouble getting pregnant, but low and behold 9 months after my wedding, she came into our world, and changed everyone. She is what helped healed my dad and my relationship. I saw him with her, so gentle and patient. He was a dotting Grandfather who loved her with his whole heart. He was her "Da Papa".
Circumstances happened. Jared and I put earnest money towards a house being built in Eagle Mountain. To help us save money, Dad allowed us to move in with him while the home was being built, and to pay a reasonable rent which let us put more money into bills to pay off. I was nervous. Sure things were great in the span of a couple hours but living with him? Could I really handle it? But to help come up with the money needed it was the only solution, and I knew Jared's promise from 4 years ago was the same, and with him I could go through anything.
But there was nothing to go through. It was great. Dinner's together, playing in the backyard, and just sitting in the backyard, drinking wine coolers (me) and beer (dad) talking. Life was good. So when the housing market crashed, and we lost our loan for the house, Dad urged us to stay with him, that he was loving spending time with us and his granddaughter. Plus it meant that we could save money for the other thing we wanted in our life. Another child.
So we stayed, and a while later Dad was transferred to Colorado. He still kept his room and tried to come home every weekend and holidays. He was the first person, other then Jared to know after 2 long years of trying, we were finally pregnant with Jaxon. Dad was in the room when Jaxon was born. Jaxon Thomas DeMill, partly named after Michael Thomas Noll.
The point of all this back story is I had it. The relationship I had always wanted, the dad I had always dreamed about, was now a reality. We have become closer in the past 3 years then I thought was possible. And now...I feel like it's being taken away. I am scared of all the what ifs, but more frightened to look them up. The doctors allowed him to come back to SLC, and see a specialist at the Huntsman center for surgery as soon as possible. Part of the reason his right eye he cant see out of is not the accident. It's the tumor pushing at his eye.
Life will never be the same now. No matter what. I am fairly certain that Dad can't go back to his job again...and...there's even more stuff that I know, due to Jared that makes things worse, and I am so scared.
I never realized how much of a child I was until now. Oh sure I am almost 30, have 2 kids, a wonderful husband a great job, but I'm not prepared. My dad will need care, for short term if not long term. Right now he is at my Grandmothers since she lives in a single story and he can't do stairs.
I have no idea how to help with all the bills. Sure I have had a rental but never owned a home, there's the Power of Attorney that thankfully Aunt Susan has, but we need all the paper work. And Dad...he's unhappy, mad, so confused, all the things that go with what he's going through.
And now due to my strep which please dear God let me now have already given to him, I couldn't see him today, and apparently last night was bad (he hates his neck brace but if he doesn't keep it one he could make his spine injury worse, to the point of parilization or even death).
I dont know what to do. I know we will find out more tomorrow at his appointment, and again I am scared. My work has been great but I should go back tomorrow, again it depends on what news we get from the specialist.
So thats the whole long story. Please pray for my family. I myself have been praying more then ever before, even went out and bought a bible, since I honestly hadn't opened one for years (which is a whole other story). I dont know whats going to happen to my family, but if you ask Maxine, we have been a family of 5 for a while, and I dont want that to change.....